The First Installment of Nostradumbas

His prediction is pain.  What is yours?

His prediction is pain. What is yours?

This is a new segment we will do occasionally called Nostradumbas.  Bristol hates predictions, but I love them.  Why?  Because I love to speculate.  Plus, I am hoping to do a lot better in my college football pool next year and this will force me to do my research. 

 

This is going to be a little different, in that I’m skipping the rest of this year and starting off with this year’s college basketball, then moving to baseball, football, the NBA and the NFL and NCAA. 

 

Without wasting more time, here’s my picks for the championships that will take place mostly in 2009 and early 2010.  Enjoy.

 

2008-2009 NCAA Basketball

 

Four beasts will emerge from the muck

The one with the longest horns will escape the heels

The royalty will trump the Musketeer

Royalty becomes matador, and slays the bull

 

2008 MLB

 

The garments of red battle the ferocious cats of the Midwest

Whilst mighty angels are slain by the devil

Armageddon on the ball field results in a loss to the good team

C Bath earns his silver

 

The disappointing bears make an early exit

As a metropolitan area rejoices

Freedom rings loud in the snakes’ ears

Brotherly love stands tall

 

Clothing does battle in New England

With every inning being played

While C Bath again earns his silver

Red proves more fashionable than pinstripes

 

Shea makes a mighty stand

As the city of brotherly love puts up a fight

Though the effort proves exciting

The Liberty Bell must wait another year to ring

 

The Big Apple gains an early lead

But the Sox come out punching

Even when an opponent is superior

A lucky punch can save the day

 

2008 – 2009 NBA

 

King James gathers his forces

Leading an attack on Boston

To the conqueror go the spoils

The king increases his empire

 

The Lakers demonstrate moxie

Against Texas’ favorite sons

Even Sam Houston

Couldn’t shoot his way out of this one

 

Ohio runs the gauntlet of emotion

Phil seems to have all the cards

King James catches his on the river

And finally wears his crown

 

2009 NCAA FOOTBALL

 

It’s easy to give the appearance of wealth

While being deeply in debt

A good record and a poor schedule

Plague the undefeated lions and tide

 

The Trojans don’t accept horses as gifts

They simply smote them hip and thigh

Sooner than later everyone will realize

The beast with horns can only share

 

Blue turf doesn’t a championship make

But the reptile who holds back the tide

Faces off against the Trojans

The winner proves to be most urbane

 

2009 NFL

 

While broncos are stolen in the night

Dolphins stand no chance against titans

Horseshoes fly through the air in Pittsburg

While Foxboro chops down the giant

A new knee can’t replace an aged defense

Colts will outrun their old masters

 

New York sees excitement again

But rests in the first round of battle

Romo losing in the playoffs becomes a cardinal rule

While a gold rush in Atlanta almost clips the Falcons wings

A bear from the Midwest

Helps prove that land is stronger than air

But a bear’s strength is no match for a giant

 

Two brothers face each other in the ultimate battle

It truly is a game of inches

Will it be age or youth

In this case, age overcomes

Tom Coughlin is 62

 

Anyway, that’s that.  Wow.  After re-reading it I realize there is no chance any of this will come true.   For instance, I figured Tebow would win the Heisman because the other two would cancel each other out.  I guess the fact that Bradford had 6 million yards and played in an EA Sports video game all year didn’t weigh in on my decision (dismissive sign, throws paper and pens across room…)

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~ by maxaverage on December 15, 2008.

3 Responses to “The First Installment of Nostradumbas”

  1. Since this is called Nostradumbas. Is there any way to get a dumbed down version for the dumbas’ reading the column so we don’t have to think. I like to be spoon fed, it’s just easier that way.

    Like

  2. I can sum it up for you:

    Duke, Mets, Cavs, Florida, Giants

    I’m not responsible if you use my picks and lose money!

    -Max

    Like

  3. that’s more like it!

    Like

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