A scene from Puss In Boots, XXX

The new animated film Puss In Boots was attended by my girlfriend and I with high hopes of a silly movie about cats that we could relate to.  What the movie was, in reality, was a boring spin-off, a waste of time, and a way for fat (metaphorically) writers to mail in another shoddy and poorly thought out movie in the hopes of bilking the public out a hundred million dollars.

The movie starts off with an exciting (subjective) fight scene and some silly references to things cats do, which, as a hater of all pets but owner of my own cat that I treat better than most humans I meet, I found slightly amusing.  Things quickly went from marginal to boring, though, as Puss describes how he met his friend Humpty Dumpty, and became the desperado he is today, earning his boots and little hat.

This was actually the part of the movie I related to the most.  At the end of his monologue about his past, we see he new side kick, Kitty Softpaws, asleep, and unfortunately, that’s where I was, too.  Also, in none of his past dealings was there any mention of Shrek, which I feel was a mistake.  If this be a prequel, they should have foreshadowed the events of the future.  If this be an afterthought, then how can you have a FIFTEEN MINUTE flashback about his life without mentioning the single biggest thing he is famous for?

The movie then took off on an Swiss cheese plot about finding magic beans, climbing to the castle in the sky, and somehow getting away with millions of dollars in golden eggs.  It’s all very thin and frankly, I expected more. The jokes became more and more cliche as the film rolled on, even including a cheap glaucoma reference to some illegal cat nip found in one of Puss’s boots.  And maybe that’s what ruined it for me.  I’m not against smoking pot, I mean, we all went to college.  But it just seemed like that joke was put there for cheap laughs, and when cheap laughs are your foundation, then you end up with a cheap movie, and I guess if I am going to spend my money on something I just want a little bit more effort put into the jokes and into the dialogue and plot.  I mean, all the spinning matrix moves in the world don’t matter if half way through the movie people are looking at each other like, “Is this what we paid for?”  “Are you bored, too?”

I guess one thing about magic beans is that the more you eat the more you toot, and this movie is filled with a ton of farts that just couldn’t quite be the shit.

I’ll give this four out of ten Andy Dufresne’s, the gold standard for movie goodness here at INWL.


~ by maxaverage on November 8, 2011.

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