Spread ‘Em Volume 7

WRITTEN BY MAX

The spread busts continue.

Another week, another week of me getting Penn State’d by underdogs covering, favorites flopping, and IOWA STATE of all teams beating the number two team in the country.  The only time ISU should beat the number two team in the country is when they are the number two team in the country and they beat themselves with turnovers and TAINTs.  Swears and cusses!

So one more big week of football left before conferences vie for the crappy bowl games of choice, because according to the football experts, it’s already determined that unless LSU or Alabama Marshall’s or Oklahoma State’s their team (plane crash), then those two teams are meeting for the title.  This is a travesty.  I cannot rationally deal with the absurdity of a team potentially not winning their conference and then playing for a title.  Realistically, if LSU gets to the SEC championship game and somehow loses to Georgia, you will still see an LSU vs. Alabama game.  This is so wrong on so many levels, again, I cannot quantify how stupid this system is.

Well, with that being said, let’s just slip right into this week’s bloodbath.  Here’s how I did last week.  My pregame score prediction in parenthesis.

Oklahoma State (53) 31
Iowa State (17) 37
O/U 58, took over, WIN.  Spread 27, LOSE

Nebraska (28) 17
Michigan (27) 45
O/U took under LOSE, to NE to upset, LOSE

Wisconsin (35) 28
Illinois (28) 17
O/U took even, LOSE, Wisc. to cover LOSE

Penn State (13) 20
OSU (20) 14
O/U took under, WIN.  OSU to cover, LOSE

Virginia (27) 14
FSU (32) 13
O/U took over, LOSE.  Took points, WIN

Kansas State (38) 17
Texas (24) 13
O/U took under, WIN.  Took KSU in upset, WIN

Iowa (38) 31
Purdue (21) 21
O/U took over, LOSE. Iowa in upset, WIN

USC (38) 38
Oregon (49) 35
O/U took over, WIN.  Took points, WIN

This week I went 4-4 against the spread.  I went 4-4 in the Over/Under Challenge.  In my Confidence Pool, I went 5-5.  So a wash all the way through.  Let’s see if I can right the ship and do something positive in this third to last week of the regular season.

Texas at Texas A&M
Open -8
Current -8
O/U Challenge 42, taking over
Neither team has lived up to the hype that somewhat surrounded them at the beginning of the season.  Both teams, I think, feel they are better than their records.  Unfortunately, everyone beats everyone this year except for LSU.  So in this battle of Texas juggernauts, and maybe the last one for awhile, I’m taking Texas, because frankly, if Texas lets A&M leave town with the last word, that’s just a shame.  Final score 30-28, Texas.

Arkansas at LSU
Open -13
Current -12.5
O/U Challenge 42, taking over
The SEC reminds me of high school, in that in high school, a lot of the same people have sex with a lot of the same people.  It’s hard to tell who is who.  Hell, you might even call someone by the wrong name.  Maybe one week Sally is your girl, and then the next week you accidentally call Beth Sally, and now you don’t know who is going to be your girl, and then just like that, next week old Jilly comes in and sneaks right into your first place.  Let’s be honest though.  Maybe Beth and Sally have your heart because they both have great defenses and that makes you have to try that much harder to get into the endzone, or in this case, their pants.  If Arkansas can get into LSU’s pants this week, I think you could see LSU fail to cover at home.  I think LSU wins though.  They can’t lose at this point, can they?  I demand satisfaction! At least one of the teams in the title game has to be undefeated.  LSU, you better win this one 36-28. *snaps fingers, prepares for dance fight*

Iowa State at Oklahoma
Open28
Current -27.5
O/U Challenge 56, taking over
ISU proved that with a good defense, and two onside kick recoveries, and a shit load of dumb luck, you can beat just about anyone.  If ISU can knock off Oklahoma this week, it will solidify my belief that Oklahoma was a paper champion from the beginning, and it would also solidify my hatred of Iowa State even more, because that would mean they busted my spread pick every game this year.  I’m taking Oklahoma in a wild one, 52-45.  Take the points.

Penn State at Wisconsin
Open -14
Current -14.5
O/U Challenge 31, taking over
Penn State is still just a complete cluster fuck of a place to be right now, and I can’t even imagine what type of emotions those players are carrying and dealing with right now.  Betrayal, anger, bitterness, sadness, distrust, and maybe a little hopefulness?  Man, if this doesn’t prepare those kids for the real world, nothing will.  This is a hard game to pick, because Wisconsin was my Big Ten darling all year, and then they shit the bed twice.  Penn State is a lot like Oklahoma, and I don’t think they are as good as their record indicated.  I could see this one going either way, but I think if Penn State keeps it close, they will have a chance.  I’m going to take Penn State and the points, but I think Wisconsin wins this thing ugly.  Final score 23-17.

Notre Dame at Stanford
Open 7
Current 6.5
O/U Challenge 59, taking over
Notre Dame, I hate thee.  Stanford, I enjoy that they are relevant.  Next year? I’ll hate Notre Dame even more, and Stanford will be less relevant, especially with a much better USC team.  This year?  Stanford wins this showdown, but they don’t cover until late.  Final score has Stanford, 49 to 32.

Clemson at South Carolina
Open -4
Current -4.5
O/U Challenge 63, taking under
Clemson started off so promising and now they have repeatedly shit the bed.  I fully expect this game to go the exact opposite of what I pick.  I think the final score for this game will be somewhere around 20-17.  I’m going to pick Clemson to finish strong here with the upset, but don’t be surprised if this game gets ugly and goes completely in the Gamecock’s favor.

Alabama at Auburn
Open 20
Current 20.5
O/U Challenge 54, taking under
I secretly love the way that Gene Chizik wiped his dick all over the ISU football program’s teddy bear.  Come in, act like he’s Charlie Bronson, then when the chips are down, just skip town with all the rent money, and go win a championship at a real school in short order.  HA HA HA Ames.  HA HA HA.

Well, anyway, now his upstart Tigers play the Crimson Tide for a not-very-meaningful game for Auburn other than pride at this point, but A HUGE game in regards to me getting my wish, and that wish is NOT TWO TEAMS from the SEC in the title game.  So I am rooting for Auburn all the way in this one to upset the Tide, and knock them out of contention.  No one is picking them.  I am.  I’m going to say they hold the Alabama offense in check, and manage to score a special teams TD, a defensive TD, and then kick 4 field goals, one as time expires to beat Alabama, 26-24. Taking points in the upset.

Ohio State at Michigan
Open -8
Current – 8.5
O/U Challenge 45, taking under
I think Ohio State is actually above what I expected this year.  Michigan is way more than I expected this year.  I think this will be a great game.  I know Michigan is favored heavily.  I don’t think they are a touchdown favorite.  Especially with OSU coming off an angry loss.  I think Michigan can still win this, but I think they take it by 4.  Final score Michigan 32, OSU 28.

GAME OF THE WEEK

Iowa at Nebraska
Open -9.5
Current -9.5
O/U Challenge 38, taking over
This is what I have been waiting for for two years now, ever since the rumors began that Nebraska would leave the Big Twelve.  Actually, ever since Dan Beebe climbed under Mack Brown’s desk during the Big Twelve Championship game three years ago, I’ve looked forward to Nebraska coming to the Big Ten.  See, I grew up in western Iowa and I’m a Nebraska fan almost as much as I am an Iowa fan.  But I will tell you this.  Once per year, when Iowa meets Nebraska in the Hero’s Game, or the Zero’s game or, or the Shit Show Bowl, whatever you want to call it, I’ll be cheering for Iowa like it’s nobody’s business.  So going into Friday’s showdown, I’m saying fuck you Nebraska, go sit ‘n spin.  Iowa in the upset, 31-21.  Because you don’t bet against Iowa in late November.

RECORD THUS FAR
Against Spread: 18-30 (Boooooooooooooooo)
O/U Challenge: 26-14 (YAY!)
Confidence Pool: 80-40 (Dominant)

Remember, gamble responsibly, and if your wife/husband asks about where your last paycheck went, lie!

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~ by maxaverage on November 21, 2011.

One Response to “Spread ‘Em Volume 7”

  1. Nice picture, …and good post :)…

    Like

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