Celebrity Horse Apples: Grammys and Buffets

WRITTEN BY MAX

Skeletor sings the blues.

Here’s your semi-regular update on all things web and pop culture…

Last night CBS had the Grammy Nomination concert and two things struck me as odd, and one thing made me mad.  First, I didn’t know Skeletor had such a great voice.  Also, why was Katy Perry covering her chest with her arms while she talked?  Doesn’t she know that’s why 50% of men can stand to hear her speak?  Jeez.  Finally, Wasting Light by Foo Fighters was nominated for album of the year, but received the fewest cheers from the crowd.  Wasting Light is one of the best albums of all time, not just this year.  It would be criminal if it isn’t selected.

According to TMZ, Kris Humphries is seeking an annulment from Kim Kardashian because he feels the whole thing was a fraud.  Oh.  You mean the time you married the girl who is only famous because she let a dude fuck her on camera didn’t work out?  Oh, well, our apologies, Mr. Humphries.  Let’s not let a little thing like common sense help us make decisions.

I’m excited for this, because I would watch Daniel Day-Lewis pretend to do anything.

This place is saying that Demi Moore is already dating another guy.  Apparently, they use the term guy loosely.  He is more beautiful than Demi is, which isn’t hard to do considering she is starting to look more like Skeletor than Lady Gaga did last night.  I mean, at least Gaga did it on purpose.

People has a poll about who had the greatest comeback of the year.  I voted for Kristi Alley, because she came back to the buffet the most times.  My dad loves buffets too, lady.  Sometimes you just don’t know what you want to eat.  Why make a choice when you can have it all!

Kendra Wilkinson is launching her own line of sex products. She said on her website:

“As many of you know, I’m focused on finding that balance between mom and wife and my hectic career,” Kendra explained, “and I’m always looking for ways to keep the spark in my relationship with Hank.”

Here’s a hot tip on how to get a hot tip, ladies.  If you want to spice up your love life, uh, start having one.  Don’t wear pajamas to bed.  Also, stop thinking you are fat/ugly/gross/whatever.  If your dude is not having any of what you have, then maybe he should start dating Demi’s boyfriend (see above).  There, now pay me whatever you would have paid Kendra.  If millions of people paid millions of dollars for anything the Kardashians put out/have made, then I think you can bilk your boyfriend/husband/spouse/significant other into regular romps in the sack without paying for novelties.  Matter of fact, if you have love questions send them to me and we’ll turn it into a segment.  I’ll change your name, promise.

Finally, if you haven’t seen this video, it’s worth a watch.  I think a lot of people on the web are trying to figure it out.  I don’t know why.  Just enjoy it.  I pulled this from here.

Advertisements

~ by maxaverage on December 1, 2011.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: