Celebrity Horse Apples: Weekend Round Up

// WRITTEN BY MAX

The Big Missionary Tomato shows his Flying Squirrel in this issue of Celebrity Horse Apples

Here’s your celebrity horse apples from the weekend.

No way! Shaun White got laid when he was winning more gold medals than most countries?  Go read TMZ’s story about naked photos of White doing a 360 on some chick’s belly.

I added this story because I hate both myself and you.  You are welcome.

This headline was way more exciting when I thought it was a scene from This Ain’t Boring, XXX.

Samantha Harris, star of something or other, is pleased that her breastfeeding boobs are back to normal.  Meanwhile, her husband cries in a corner somewhere.

Madonna is going to headline the Super Bowl.  That’s a great idea said 1994 me.  Let’s go run a Google search and see what her ex husband thinks of her.

…wow.  He doesn’t think much of her. I made fun of her one time and said that she looks terrible and all these people were like, if you look like her when you are 50 you’ll be happy and I said if I look like here when I am 50 I probably live in a gingerbread house and eat children.

Elisabeth Shue joined CSI.  I wonder if they will have cocktails, or if there will be any adventures.  I guess we’ll never know!

According to AVClub, Motley Crüe is going to be performing for a short residency in Vegas.  This is good news to everyone stuck in the past or to anyone who ever shot up vodka just to get drunk.  Cheers!

My favorite (read: least favorite) thing of the weekend?  The Chiefs signed Kyle Orton to throw a $3 million dollar incomplete pass.  At least they won.

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~ by maxaverage on December 5, 2011.

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