Fade The Knob – Hot Action Cop

WRITTEN BY MAX

Fade The Knob is the name of any column we write about music, that isn’t a CD review.

There are a lot of awesome songs that came out of the 1990s.  There weren’t so many awesome songs that came out of the 2000s.  What did come out of the early 2000s was a bunch of music that was either about 5 years too early or about 5 years too late.  There are a lot of one hit wonders.  But no style of music produced more one hit wonders than what I like to call Cock Pop.

Cock Pop is often mistaken for Pop Punk, Rock, Punk Rock, or Alternative Rock.  I like to call it Cock Pop because it’s very similar to a lot of the Cock Rock hits in the mid-80s, in that the bands tend to sing about using their cock in some form or way.  The difference is that instead of super shredding guitars and big hair, bands have cute little faux hawks and do a lot of things similar to the pop-punk sounds on their guitars from the late 1990s.  And Hot Action Cop, the number one Cock Pop band on my subjective list, falls into the last category.

Their one big hit is called “Fever For The Flava,”  and it’s a great example of everything that embodies Cock Pop.  Just watch the video above.  It starts off on a cellular level, with the lead singer’s visage appearing in the cells and brain of the girl.  She’s in the gas station store, dressed conservatively in her thrift store coat and leopard print bra-shirt, when all of a sudden, the urge to hump is so great that she strips her clothes and uses her mind to blow up bottles of Mountain Dew that shower her in a sexy, wet explosion as she makes her way to an unsuspecting boy in a letter jacket, basically raping (you can’t rape the willing!) him on the counter.

Ut oh, her hump germs are in his body now.  He leaves the store and sees some broad pumping gas.  Hot Action Cop totally dropped the ball on doing a “Zoolander” parody here, and he just does her on the trunk, just like high school, instead of having the obligatory gas spray.  I suppose they didn’t have the budget.

Now she’s all infected with the hump.  She goes by a construction site and suddenly decides she just has to take off her outer garments and do a strip tease for the fat constructions workers.  Oh, there it is, the obligatory spray.

Now cut to the band during the bridge.  Good, good, work it, work it; now, for the grand finale, space bed!

Please don’t take me wrong.  I absolutely love bands like Hot Action Cop.  They poured all of their heart and soul into one song that was a commercial success.  And they got theirs.  And even though it’s a ‘terrible’ song, I like it a lot and it is one of the reasons I love being in a band, for the times when you go to a club and hear a bunch of really cool dudes in a shitty band play their one big number.  It’s awesome.

I don’t know how much money they made.  According to Wikipedia, they actually put out a six track EP in 2009.  I didn’t hear one single song off that album, but I went to their official page, (a Myspace page) and listened to a few tracks.  I’ll be honest, it is basically terrible.  About the nicest thing I can say about it is that it sounds like a shitty Linkin Park.  The single “Open Your Eyes” is not bad, but the rest of it just sounds like music without a genre, its not quite serious enough to be taken seriously, but it’s not quite like a finger out the zipper, either. They licensed music to several movies and TV shows, including “American Wedding” and “Smallville”. They had a couple of other singles that weren’t near as popular, and you can see the videos for those below

In summation, Hot Action Cop was the best one-hit Cock Pop band to come out of the 2000s.  And that is saying something, as we will see in the days to come as I try to round out a completely subjective top five Cock Pop band list.  But the best thing I can say about Hot Action Cop is, after going back through and listening to several mixed CDs I made in college, this band made it onto SEVEN of them, all with “Fever For The Flava”.  It may have only been one, but it was a hit, and for that, I salute you, Hot Action Cop.

BAND MEMBERS:

  • Rob Werthner – vocals and guitar
  • Tim Flaherty – guitar
  • Juan Chavolla – bass
  • Johannes Greer – drums
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~ by maxaverage on December 13, 2011.

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