4 Crappy Bowls that No One Cares about the 8 Schools that Don’t Want/Deserve to Be There

In an odd statement, this guy isn't alone.


Bowl season is upon us and I love it, or at least I used to.  I’m a sucker for the pageantry, nostalgia, the history of college football.  I used to get excited for the Rose Parade on New Years Day, though I’m not sure I ever watched.  I was sad when the BCS took over and the Rose Bowl was no longer old school Pac-10 v. old school Big 10.  That was my childhood growing up and those bastards took it away.  However, I learned to put up with the BCS because we still had bowl games and it gave my team, the Iowa Hawkeyes, a better shot to make it to “big time” bowl, which they did twice. (Orange in 2002 and 2009).

All good things must come to an end though, and I’ve realized I can no longer hold on the past and hope for Iowa to make it to the Rose Bowl via the BCS.  It’s time to blow the whole damn thing up.

What do you get when you have 72 of 120 Division I FBS programs participating in Bowl Season?  You get a bunch of watered down games held in crappy parts of the country that the masses could care less about.  Which leads me to my list of “4 Crappy Bowls that No One Cares about the 8 Schools that Don’t Want/Deserve to Be There.”  Let’s face it this list could be much longer but I don’t have that kind of spare time.

1. MAACO Las Vegas Bowl – ASU v Boise State

When: December 22 – 3pm CST

Where: Vegas

Cost: $10 on via Stub Hub

There is no way in hell that Boise wants to be in this bowl game. It is beneath them, they don’t deserve this game, and it’s a travesty that they are even here.  Taking the time to explain further would be a waste of my time and yours.

ASU limps in with a 6-6 record, a freshly fired coach in Dennis Erickson, and a newly hired coach that would take his high octane offense to the Calgary Dinos if the price was right.  However, ASU does have a very tall quarterback if you weren’t aware so they have that going for them.

The only reason anyone would go to this game is an excuse to go to Vegas.  I imagine most men are telling their wives they are going out for the game, hell for $10 you can buy the ticket and show it to her.  “I bought a ticket of course I’m going to the game honey.”  In reality that guy is going to spend 3 days Hangover-style in Vegas and if he’s lucky he’ll remember to get his bet in on the over for Boise.

This game will be and should be a blow out, the only way ASU wins is if Kellen Moore and the rest of the two deeps on offense and defense end up making it rain all night before the game and say, “Screw it!  It’s not worth our time.”

2. Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl – Illinois v. UCLA

When: December 31 – 2:30 CST

Where: San Francisco

Cost: $15 via Stub Hub

Here’s another one that needs little explanation.  Illinois limps in at 6-6 after losing 6 in a row and their dignity along the way.  The Fighting Zookers even managed to lose their Zooker. The Illini are thankful for the chance to play another game but scared to death to be remembered as the team that made a bowl game while losing 7 straight games.

On the other side of the ball UCLA has barely been relevant since Cade McNown was in town. Sit back and think about that for a while.  Meanwhile in the present day they are 6-7 and coming off a loss in in the PAC-12 Championship game.  Thank you Pete Carroll and Reggie Bush for forcing that steaming pile of a game upon us.  The Bruins also lost their head coach, Rick Neuheisel, prior to the bowl game. They have the potential to be an 8 loss team that played in their conference championship and a bowl game.  I bet this is what the league commissioner envisioned when they expanded.

This game is a coin flip; if possible both teams would find a way to lose. I give the Bruins the best shot at claiming victory and a .500 season based solely on the fact they have won a game in the last two and half months.

3. TicketCity Bowl – Houston v. Penn State

When: December 31 – 11:00 am CST

Where: Dallas

Cost: $28 via Stub Hub

Let’s see, Houston is coming off their only loss in their conference championship game and was on the verge of a BCS Bowl.  Case Keenum turned a fantastic year as a 7th year senior.  To say they are disappointed to be here would be an understatement, but it could be worse, they could be in the Big East. This is a team I wanted to see bust into the BCS, because I’m a sucker for the underdog just like I am for nostalgia.

Penn State…where to begin?  You finish the season 9-3 and are passed over by a 7-5 Iowa team that you beat and a 6-6 Northwestern team to end up in Dallas.  How could this ever have happened!?!  Oh yeah, the people running your football and athletic program “allegedly” helped cover up one of the most sad, sickening, disgusting, vile acts that was “allegedly” committed over years by their former defensive coordinator.  Their current players had nothing to do with this and I feel for them, but this is about the entire university.  If Penn State had a spine they would have declined the invitation and granted any person on the team their release if they wished to transfer.

Houston should win this game if they can get their offense back on track.  Penn State likely won’t have much left in their tanks after their last two months.  While they have a good defense they have zero offense which will help the Houston D.

4. BBVA Compass Bowl – SMU – Pitt

When: January 7 – 12:00 pm CST

Where: Birmingham, AL

Cost: $28 via Stub Hub

I’ll admit I don’t know much about SMU other than the Death Penalty and that Craig James should not be allowed to speak.  They got thrown into this mess by playing in a crappy game in Birmingham on January 7th and by being in the same vicinity of the Pitt football team when it imploded yesterday.

Todd Graham has the distinction of likely being the most hated man in Pittsburgh and Tulsa and possibly soon in Tempe when that head spot opens with the Dinos and he wants to be closer to his other extended family in Calgary.

SMU is likely to win this game based solely on the Pitt players still being too pissed to see straight on gameday.  Although the game is still a month away, which is completely insane.  Remember when you had to be good to play a bowl game in January?

~ by goetgre on December 16, 2011.

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