Fade The Knob: Herpes


I pray you don't meet this guy in a dark alley. Or a lit one, for that matter...

In honor of the Iowa Caucus this evening, I decided it was my moral imperative to write about something very important.  It is with that in mind that I bring you some of the best songs the internet has to offer regarding herpes.

I personally do not have herpes.  And I don’t want to make fun of anyone who has it unless I know them personally.  (Obviously, at that point the shit talking will never end.)  But it’s such a great subject matter, and for the really clever, it can be used as a great impetus for creating something brilliant.  Case in point, these videos below.  Not all of them come right out and say that they are about herpes.  I think it’s safe to say, though, that you can read between the lines.  So let’s get this show on the road!  We will start with the least, and end with the best. I’m sure I forgot a billion videos. If you know of an obvious one, let me know and I will do a follow up.

Wrap The Shit Up by Viperpro

This song is basically a bedroom recording, but it’s not terrible, and, well, it is very honest.

Breakout by fendertele76091

This okay.  It’s a little more serious, and judging from his description, he totally has herpes.

Your Sister Has Herpes…She Gave Them To Me by Brian Smith

This song actually is pretty catchy. Ha ha, see what I did there?

Parting Blessing (The Herpes Song) by Mike Lombardo

This dude took almost the first minute to explain about who this song is about. Congratulations, herpes haver.

Russian Roulette by Rihanna

There is a pretty persisting rumor that Rihanna has herpes. Maybe this song is about that?

She’s Got The Jack by AC/DC

If this song isn’t about herpes, then none of these are. Also, how awesome was Bon Scott?

Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Great White

Once you get it, you are more cautious. This song references rape, gang bangs, cunnilingus and infidelity. You could say its about the game of love, but I prefer to think it is about the game of herpes

Brand New Day by Straight Outta Junior High

What a great song.

Growing On Me by The Darkness

Not only is the best song ever written about herpes, its also probably my favorite song from the decade of the 2000-2009, and maybe even one of my top five of all time. I think this is the video for it.

So that’s a sampling. Did anything catch your ear?


~ by maxaverage on January 3, 2012.

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