The Den: Some more poetry I evidently wrote


It's a little known fact that John Donne never lost a game of Euchre. Ever.

I found some more old poems, and I wrote a couple new ones. I don’t know or care if anyone finds the humor in any of these, but I read this one called Devils last night and boy, I laughed out loud for minutes.  I think I am dumber now than I used to be, because when I go back and read some of the garbage that came out, I can’t believe that I could be so stupid and clever at the same time.  But then last night I got two pretty solid ideas and just wrote what came out, same as always, and I was pretty pleased.  You know how you hear about athletes who just take over a game and don’t even think about it, they just hit shots/hit homers/make pitches/catch balls/sack quarterbacks and afterwards, they just say how they were in a zone and felt like they were unstoppable, and how time seemed to slow down for them?  That’s how I feel when I get on a roll writing.  I don’t even really realize most of the shit I type or how it goes together and in three or four minutes I usually have something that at least makes me laugh.  I think maybe that’s a really important thing about writing.  I don’t care if you read it.  I don’t care if you like it.  I like it.  I think it’s kind of arrogant, but I like to read my own stuff.  I think if you are a writer and you don’t enjoy going back and reading your own stuff, then you should probably stop writing.  I think that actually goes for everything in life.  If you don’t enjoy going back and looking at your work and you don’t take some pleasure in seeing what you have accomplished, then you need to find something you do like and then do it.

Well, never mind that junk above.  Here’s a few poems.  As always, I put them after the jump so you really only need to read them if you want to.  I provide no context for any of these older ones today.  Partly because I don’t know when or why I wrote them and partly because they really aren’t about anything or anyone, I just liked the way the words came together. Enjoy.


Those yellow devils
Down the street
We play euchre
With their souls


No idea where that came from, but last night it made me laugh lots.

This next one is called Winsome Losesome.  I wrote this last night.  Because it’s fresh in the memory I can tell you how and why I wrote it.  I am currently reading a western novel and one of the lines was about parrying a blow.  So I got up about 11 to go take a piss and as I was walking out someone on the TV said “you win some you lose some”.  So I repeated it, then added the next line to make myself laugh.  Then I remember the western book and rhymed the married and parried.  Then I realized if your sister was a lesbian and your mom was a drunk the rest of your family is probably in some state of disrepair as well, and it just sort of snowballs from there.  Then when I started rolling, a commercial for CSI came on.  The rest is just words put together to tell a story.  This one makes me laugh, too.  Oh, another important thing, we just bought a bunch of Dr. Seuss books at Target and I saw those when I was walking back to my computer, and so it’s kind of got a Dr. Seuss canter to it.  Also, I am obsessed with the term ‘braining’ as a euphemism for getting hit in the head.  I usually see if I can work that into every conversation I have and everything I write because it’s like a man getting hit in the groin by a football; it never fails to make me laugh.

Winsome Losesome

You win some you lose some
You bitch slap your Booze Mum
Your sister isn’t married – all advances have been parried
Can’t you smell what I am spelling?
Can’t you feel me when I’m yelling?
Has your daddy flew the coop?
Did you brain him with a scoop?
Did your uncle part your waves?
Does your aunt deny the lays?
All your cousins are indicted
Their friends and friend’s friends have been spited
So gather ‘round the sitting log
While dad and uncle roast the birthday hog
It’ll take a CSI
To discover why your grandma cries
Every time she sees your face
Every time they bring up race
One time at your neighbor’s place
He force-showed you how to use your face
A clearing house of information
A textbook case of degradation
While he placed his elimination
On your youthful mask of expectation
Can you rhyme a word with whoring?
Yes I can – it’s simply boring


Reading that one reminds me of a trip to Wal-Mart.

Moving on, I have one more for you.  I stumbled across an old sonnet I wrote, and this is probably the least sexual sonnet I have ever written, since most of my sonnets center on trips to Bangtown, trips back from Bangtown, planning trips to Bangtown, or saving up money for Bangtown, or what a good time we all had at Bangtown, or about May-December relationships between a 3rd grade boy and his 45 year old teacher.  (I know, I’m terribly messed up.)

Anyway, this one mostly speaks for itself.  I just thought it was rather good.

It was originally titled Fight Reflection, but I am retitling it A Reflection of Fighting

A Reflection of Fighting

I am walking back from an argument,
and as I am peering up at the moon
I note the fog forming a veil.  I meant
to look for the dish and look for the spoon.

There are crows flying through the veil tonight.
Do they look identical to the moon?
Do they e’er enjoy the veil in mid-flight?
Are they afraid of getting hit by spoons?

Moving quickly away from the veil we,
as in myself and I – the crows and moon –
we leave quickly to escape this with glee,
ducking and dodging the dish and the spoon.

We stop the fighting and nursery rhymes,
our life is a riddle most all the time.


Well, thus ends this installment of The Den.  I hope you enjoyed these as much as I did.  If anyone has poetry or short story submissions, send them to  We will consider all submissions that have a modicum of talent.

~ by maxaverage on March 21, 2012.

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